It’s what everyone wants for Christmas: BLOGS!

…It’s okay. I know no one wants blogs. Even I wouldn’t be reading this except it’s appearing in front of my eyes as I’m typing and so I’m forced to see it. They never warn you about that when you learn to touch-type.

TEACHER: I have some bad news. I’m afraid this means you’ll actually have to read your own writing.
TRAINEE TOUCHTYPER SCREAMS LIKE DARTH VADER IN A TERRIBLE MOVIE
TRAINEE TOUCHTYPER: Nooooooooooooo!!!!!

Anyway, even if it’s just for my own benefit so I can read it back later, I will be updating this blog over the next few days with strange tales of my epic adventures. I have been having SO MANY mysterious encounters and unworldly dramas that I haven’t even had time to write about myself. THE HORROR!

To save you the time of reading them. They go like this:

• Did a gig
• Wrote a thing. It was accepted
• Wrote a thing. It was rejected.
• Did a course
• Wrote a thing. It was accepted.

OH MY GOD.

PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THE ARCANE TERRORS YET TO BE REVEALED VIA THOSE SCANDALOUS PLOT POINTS! 

YOU WILL BE AMAZED.

YOU WILL BE APPALLED.

YOU WILL BE HOOKED.

My writing life has essentially been like this: