I have been all over the national media today. Well, the US elections and President Obama may have snaffled a column inch here or there. But what everyone was really talking about was my nomination for a decency award on page 26 of the Metro.
My girlfriend nominated me for starting up and running Charity Chuckle for the past three years and for being a nice guy whilst dealing with chronic illness, my parents needing care, and my job being under threat for the last two years.
In fairness, my girlfriend has taken on a lot of the work for Charity Chuckle whilst I’ve been dealing with those things. I feel I should point out it’s very much a joint venture. It would be indecent of me not to.
Coincidently, I went on a course about “optimism and resilience” this week. I had to do a personality test. It turns out I am a pessimist. Typical.
I was not unaware of this trait in myself but being confronted with the stats did upset me. In particular they showed I am prone to taking the blame for everything and beating myself up about things that go wrong. (Not in a Fight Club way).
There is a thing called “reframing” to help you snap out of this. But it is not necessarily a bad thing. As the instructor pointed out, you don’t want a super optimistic pilot or heart surgeon chuntering ahead without a plan B, grinning, “I’m sure it’ll all work out!”
The state of worry or concern I have about getting things right and not blaming others for mistakes may be related to being seen as “decent”. And that’s no bad thing. It’s a quality I very much value.
So I’d like to say thanks to my girlfriend for nominating me even though I worried making such a fuss might be not quite proper. I’m actually very proud to have been nominated for it.
Even if I am a pessimist, it makes me feel I am alright. Or “decent”.