I haven’t written any material. Or gigged for months. But I’ve made a poster.

I guess I am saying this as a sort of pledge or promise or whatever that I will get this done. As I have blogged previously, my involvement in stand-up dwindled as my parents came to need me for help over the last couple of years.

My mum passed away just before Christmas. I don’t want to say more than that about it than that for now. Since then, myself and my girlfriend have had several more family bereavements. It’s been tough. I feel that the rhythm of writing demands I say something about the bereavement process, in case moving on quickly seems callous. But I don’t want to. So I will move on, but not out of callousness, quite the opposite.

So, it’s May now and we are still trying to pick up the pieces. An element of dealing with death makes you consider your own mortality. And although I am not yearning to spend the little time I have on this earth “playing the Comedy Pouch, Possum Ridge” as Hicks put it, I do feel that having invested years into stand-up and quitting without doing an hour show would be a shame.

When I started, I just wanted to have done one gig. In the same way some people want to do a parachute jump before they die. The  “Life experience” I wanted to have was doing stand-up. Having done one gig and achieved the goal, I realised I could probably do a few more. And then I was hooked. As soon as I had a few gigs under my belt, the dream was to do an hour show.

But there are rules. You have to pay your dues on the circuit. And you certainly shouldn’t even consider doing an hour until you are a pro at doing twenty minute sets. Do your time. Earn your chops. Etc.

But screw that. I’d rather be doing my five minuteses on the open mic circuit, knowing I was working toward something major, rather than just polishing the same five and “waiting for something to happen”.

I have mixed feeling about saying I’ll do it again. Not doing gigging and just going home after work to watch TV is nice. But I aim to be done with stand-up by the end of August 2014. Stopping without doing the hour after six years feels like going to University for four years and flunking out without a degree.

I’m getting old. I need to do this and move on.

Er. So, yeah. It’ll be a laugh-riot! See you there!