Good day to you Metropolis! My name is Super… er. Clark Kent. “Super Clark Kent” to my friends. Well, fans, I guess. My friends wouldn’t call me that… Anyway.

Welcome to my new blog! You may have read that I have left the Daily Planet because I feel it is getting too dumbed down with celebrity “news” and… you know, Lois was always getting “text messages” from “the twitter” on her “mobile phone” (or “cell phone” as we say in America). And I think all that is BAD.

I am a young reporter and I want to talk about serious issues and things! So I have joined the blogosphere and this is my blog. Here you will find ACTUAL STORIES about NEWS RELEVANT TO THE CITIZENS OF METROPOLIS.

So, in this, the debut blog entry, let’s start with a quick round up of the exciting new features we have in store for you!

Lex Luthor Lets Loose!
Is there more than meets the eye to Metropolis big businessman, Lex Luthor? We tracked down the famous entrepreneur to his “secret lair” for an exclusive interview. Luthor revealed all to our reporter, saying, “How did you get in here? Get away from that bank of computers! Aargh! Foiled again!”

COMING SOON: PART TWO OF THIS INTERVIEW CONDUCTED AT METROPOLIS PENITENTIARY

Bat pants or bad pants?
Batman has been making fun of my lack of… I mean… In a very sensational meeting between Metropolis-based superhero, Superman, and Gotham City vigilante, Batman, there has been a falling out between the two heroes (well, one hero and a vigilante, really) about pants. The Gotham crime fighter, who dresses up like a bat, made fun of me… old mate, Superman, for his recent transition to the “pants under the trousers” look.

(Although in America, we call our trousers “pants” which is very confusing.)

Batman, who still favours wearing his pants over his trousers (pants) reacted to the news that he looked silly by saying, “It doesn’t make any difference in the dark.”

This reporter would like to point out that bats don’t wear pants, anyway.

MORE ON THIS IN OUR UPCOMING FASHION BLOG

Zod’s law
“If it can go wrong, it will go wrong” said General Zod regarding his recent failed attempt to take over the world.

READ MORE IN OUR DETAILED ANALYSIS OF GENERAL ZOD’S PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE

There! That’s some of the hard-nosed journalism you can expect to see on my blog, not the fluff and nonsense you get from The Planet!

So thanks for reading, lots of love (LOL!), all the best…

Yours sincerely,

Superman

Shitting hell!

“Super” Clark Kent.

x.